I like a page a day diary, mainly as it tends to function more as a notebook than a diary to me.  Often the page a day quota doesn’t work for the things I jot down, so I tend to write on any blank page I can find.  This drives my sister crazy, “how do you find things!” she remarks with exasperation.  At times it is a little frustrating I suppose, but I tell her that it just means I don’t always find the things I’m planning to find.  Which can sometimes actually be helpful.  The writings reflect my day to day jumble of life.  From Waste Story project ideas to train times to monthly budgets, shopping lists, Noah appointments, things to work harder at, art projects to start and finish, blog themes and people to write letters to.

I still carry around last years diary in my bag as there are some unused pages (don’t even get my sister started on this!) and the other day I used this instead of my newer brown one.  After flicking through I found a blank page. On the page next to it I found my Christmas present ‘to get list’ from last year.  The first thing I felt was a bit of relief as the list this year is shorter.  Not because I am more organised (obviously!) but because I have made more mutual pacts with friends and family to not buy gifts and instead just enjoy one anothers company over the festive period.  Things are tight and it feel like we all understand that more this year than last.  We have also seen each other less this year too, which makes the time we have together more precious. Far more valuable than new scarves, ornaments and the exchange of gift cards that allow us to buy ‘something for ourselves’ in January, when actually most of us just want to buy food and keep the heating on.  I expected to see lots of things for Noah on the list but there wasn’t really anything, I guess at that point last year I was more organised when it came to his presents at least.  But what did we give him for Christmas last year?

It started to really bug me because I can’t remember.  I have a photo of him with a big pile of presents but oddly none of him playing with anything.  I’m quite glad about that in a way, as I hope it meant we spent the day playing rather than on our phones trying to capture photos and missing moments.  I continue to scroll through my phone and come across pictures of skips at the local recycling centre, taken just after Christmas.  The first was of garden waste, unsurprisingly filled to the brim with Christmas trees.  The second was of my least favourite, but often most thought provoking skip: the skip for general waste i.e. landfill. 

In it was a collection of records, half of them still in the cardboard box used to transport them, the other half tumbled out and beginning to mix with the bric a brac of other objects. I remember that at the time I checked nobody was looking leant over and retrieved a Neil Diamond one.  I don’t have a record player but my Grandad would never have forgiven me if I’d seen that go to landfill.  I placed it in my mess of a car boot and took another look.  There in the middle of the skip was a pair of pogo sticks.  Not one, but two. Not damaged but whole, and my mind started to wander…