Life Through Pink (Plastic) Lenses

Greg Singh

A pair of pink plastic "venetian blinders",aka "shutter shades".

I put them on, I become invisible!
I can reach up and touch the ceiling!
Run faster than a dog, jump higher than a kangaroo
I can see through walls and closed doors
What the neighbours are doing-
I can see them getting ready to go to Tescos.

When I wear my glasses, I become invisible
I can go anywhere I please!
I can even go into the front room with my shoes on.
When I wear my glasses, I know everything
I can add up any numbers, think of any words
I could cheat on my maths test – if I wanted
I could do anything with my pink glasses

Johnny thinks I look like Timmy Mallet but
What does he know?
I reckon I look like Cyclops from X-Men
I’m gonna beam lasers at Johnny – straight from my eyes –
When I see him next

I can fight crime with these on
Chrissy stole three penny chews from Co-Op the other day and ate them in front of us
If I was the Co-Op man, and I had these glasses
I’d have seen him do it from down the street
I told Chrissy he shouldn’t have done it
Chrissy hit me and knocked my glasses right off
I ran home crying

I went back the next day but my glasses had gone
I think Chrissy has them in secret
And he watches his neighbours through the upstairs landing wall